How many licks?

Smoking a lot of cigarettes. This is not good for me! I wish I could stop but I guess you need to have at least one vice and mine happens to be smoking. I'm also very fat. I gained a lot of weight when I started taking my medication for bipolar disorder. I'm trying to lose all this bloat but it is very difficult cause I am addicted to food. Today I had two small hotdogs for lunch. How healthy is that! But it was the only stuff that was in my fridge and I'm terribly broke at the moment. So I guess it is better to eat anything at all then go with an empty stomach for too long and eventually be very hungry and bulk on a tremendous amount of food.

My life is very uninteresting and boring. I don't know what to do to make it more exciting! You tell me! I wish I had a boyfriend to wrap my arms around. But my self esteem is so low at teh moment that I avoid social happenings so I hardly ever meet anyone at all. I really hope for a change!